Dear allies, please don't border Russia

(Courtesy of Patrick Q. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.)

The Onion reports on what must be the best foreign policy advice ever given to former Soviet republics and satellites:

Following Russia's controversial military excursions into neighboring Georgia, the Bush administration made its most direct commitment to the U.S.'s Eastern European allies to date by "strongly advising" those countries not to border Russia under any circumstance. "The United States stands by its allies, but will not be able to defend our friends in the region if they continue to share geographical lines with Russia," Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said at a Monday press conference.